Although you may truly love your mate, conflict in relationships is inevitable. So when conflict comes, make sure you are prepared to handle conflict it in a mature and productive way. Conflict can be a doorway toward deeper understanding and a more satisfying relationship. Unfortunately, many couples waste this window of possibility and end up sinking deeper in distance between each other rather than climbing higher in understanding. The tools that you use will make the difference during conflict. Some unfair, off-limit tools include: Bringing up the past, Name-calling, Withholding Sex or affection, Tuning your partner out or giving the…
Author: Rev. Dr. Chris Jackson
Research shows that if any one attempts to start a business, begin an exercise program or accomplish any other life significant life challenge, they are always more successful if they approach the venture with a partner and with a plan. There is a basic sense of beauty and power in the picture of two people united with one purpose. The reason that many relationships fail is that the two people who should be the closest are not actually on one accord and to make matters worse, they have no specific strategy for success. How can you win if you don’t…
Dr. Gary Chapman’s concept of the Five Love Languages identifies five basic human acts of love that typically communicate love to the recipient. These actions are fairly well known but knowing how to effectively implement them is more important than knowing what they are. One of the common mistakes in relationships is the habit of giving our partner what we need instead of what they need. The philosophy behind the languages concept is that despite our best intentions, if we don’t understand a particular language or a preferred mode of expression, we will not be effective in our relationship. Below…
Valentine’s finds many couples going all out to display their love. How great would it be if that same energy was tapped throughout the whole year? While relationship longevity is generally a desirable quality, sometimes long-term relationships can fall prey to the terrible trap of familiarity which breeds contempt. Taking one’s mate or one’s marriage for granted can expose us to a wide array of relationship demons that can wreck havoc on any couple. What can be done to counteract relationship death-by-familiarity? Most people agree that it is the little things that really make a difference in their relationship.…
Have you ever wondered why God would create women and men so differently and yet also place within them such a strong attraction for each other? Some say that opposites attract but the differences between healthy couples should not be differences in values, goals, objectives or character. Rather, for healthy couples the differences usually lie in different personal gifts, different skills, and different viewpoints of ways of viewing the same subject. The optimum concept behind marriage is to become more powerful as a unit working together than either of the partners could have been individually. Oneness, unity and teamwork making…
The impact of the Father on personhood and relationships cannot be overemphasized. The Father either becomes a huge help or leaves a huge hole in the lives and hearts of their offspring. This fact alone is reason enough to prioritize healthy Father figures (and Mother figures) for all children, teens and beyond. David Popenoe, author of the book Life Without Father, writes that “fatherhood and marriage are indispensable for the good of children and society.” Popenoe identifies issues such as juvenile delinquency, drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy, welfare dependency and child poverty as being directly linked to the absence…
January is the primary month when many people make plans for large and small alterations in their usual life cycle. Even though it is really just another month like the others, somehow January seems to be a good time to take stock of your life and to strategize for maximum success. One of the areas of life that affects and impacts most of the other areas is the relationship area. Some of the byproducts of unhealthy relationships can include increased levels of stress and weight gain, sleeplessness, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, high blood pressure, attention deficit, and lower…
I remember when I was dating back during my college years and I used to ask some of my dates subjective diagnostic questions that I had devised, secretly hoping for them to give the answer that I had predetermined to be “right”. When they gave a different answer, I would be disappointed. One day one of my dates wisely said to me: “I think you’re trying to make me like you.” How right she was and how wrong I was for subconsciously sabotaging the relationship by constructing preconceived parameters for relationship success. Most people view themselves as the personification of…