mid adult couple holding hands and praying

Dr. Gary Chapman’s concept of the Five Love Languages identifies five basic human acts of love that typically communicate love to the recipient. These actions are fairly well known but knowing how to effectively implement them is more important than knowing what they are. One of the common mistakes in relationships is the habit of giving our partner what we need instead of what they need.  The philosophy behind the languages concept is that despite our best intentions, if we don’t understand a particular language or a preferred mode of expression, we will not be effective in our relationship. Below we will list the languages and provide commentary on how to live out the language. 1. Words of Affirmation: This can be accomplished through offering sincere verbal or written encouragement, listening and appreciation.  2. Physical Touch: Use body language to communicate care through hand-holding, hugs, cuddling and kisses. 3. Receiving Gifts: Study your mate and give thoughtful gifts that show your care and that you value the relationship. 4. Quality Time: Make your time together count by removing all distractions and intentionally focus in on your mate to make memorable moments. 5. Acts of Service: Do helpful things that your mate would like to get accomplished in order to lighten the load and remove the stress.

Discovering your mate’s love languages enables us to intelligently target our energies rather than taking the hit-or-miss hopeful approach. When we actively give energy to our mate’s love languages it is like making deposits into our mate’s love bank. When we do the opposite it is like making withdrawals from our mate’s love bank. With this perspective it is possible to make your relationship a million dollar relationship without spending that much by simply making regular, intentional deposits into your Bank of Love.