During a recent call, Pastor Frank D. Stevenson of Nashville’s Friendship Missionary Baptist Church: A City of Grace talked about the importance of giving back during the holidays and the benefits of protecting your peace. The longtime community change maker also spoke on the power of gratitude and provided tips for guarding your mind from stress and anxiety this yuletide season.
For two decades, you’ve been dedicated to serving the community and showing the importance of being a blessing to others. Can you provide insight on your teachings about service being the heart of the church?
Pastor Frank Stevenson:
We have a servant leader model that I live by, and that simply is the behavior of Jesus. When He washed his disciples’ feet, He was, clearly, in the leadership role. Yet, He decided to take the servant role to show them the importance of service. So, we’ve adopted the theory of just trying to make someone else’s life better for the holidays along with the opportunities that we get to be a blessing throughout the year. Our church embraces the mission and we’re going to keep leaning into it. We, typically, attract people who have a heart of wanting to serve. So, we usually don’t even have to motivate folks. They’re self-motivated by our purpose.
It’s, of course, a season of giving. Will you highlight how gratitude goes hand in hand with it?
Pastor Frank Stevenson:
There’s a model that I share about a man who was complaining about not having shoes. Then, he met a man with no feet. We all have something to be very grateful for. When you’re grateful, it literally serves as motivation to give because when you’re grateful, you naturally want to share. And when you’re grateful, you naturally want people to have the experiences that you have. You naturally want others to be in a good space. So, gratitude and giving are first cousins.
What tips do you have on self-care to avoid burnout and stress during the holidays?
Pastor Frank Stevenson:
I’ll give two or three here. One is, holidays can obviously be a time of reflection as there are people you love who are no longer with you. That’s why I always encourage people to gravitate toward good memories. I tell them to create good memories with their family so when the holidays come, you’ll have some good memories to hold on to and it doesn’t become a depression space. I also believe that it’s important to remember that this holiday season is certainly not about stuff, because stuff can stress you. But, if we enjoy the space of family and love, more emphasis will be placed on the gift of one’s presence. The third thing is, we can get really busy during this season with cooking, preparing, doing this and going there, and we forget as we’re tiptoeing to the end of the year that we need a mental reset.
Taking time to have that mental reset is important to avoid burnout. It’s also important that we try to avoid the pitfalls of frustration and approaching the season with a heavy spirit.
The U.S. Surgeon General has declared loneliness as an epidemic among the elderly, especially with the aftermath of the pandemic. What advice do you have for helping seniors avoid the pain of isolation and depression during the holidays?
Pastor Frank Stevenson:
Typically, if you talk to a lot of seniors, they’ll tell you that they don’t want to be a burden on anyone. A lot of times, they won’t even share the heaviness of feeling isolated or alone. So, we have to be very intentional about making sure that we go visit and give them calls. We must take time out of our busy schedules to check on our great aunt or our big mama, and go over uninvited to show that we’re there for them. A lot of people are surprised that what seniors want and appreciate is actually very minimal. Hugs and kisses, at that age, bring a high level of appreciation with the people you love. I think this is a time when we have to make sure that we wrap our arms around them and show that we value the patriarchs and matriarchs in our families. We have to continuously show it because they need that, and they deserve it. Our culture is a little different from a lot of cultures in terms of how we regard seniors. In Africa, the elders are highly respected, highly celebrated, and highly taken care of. It’s that way in many other countries as well. We have, to some degree, moved away from it. Yet, I hope that we’ll return to it by checking on our seniors and showing them love.
It’s more about quality time and how you make them feel as opposed to money and presents, right?
Pastor Stevenson:
Yes, I often share about how when my mother was dying, I just wanted to do something for her. So, I went and placed $500 on her nightstand. My sister called me an hour later and said, “My mama just gave me $500.” My mother gave it away because it didn’t mean anything at the time. All she really wanted was to spend time with us. And that’s how I started cooking. We kind of started doing potlucks. Our family would meet at my mama’s house every Sunday. She was terminal, and we knew it. There were some days when she couldn’t even come out of her room, and I’d say, “Hey, Ma. We’re going to get out of here because these kids are running around, and you’re not feeling well.” But, she said, “No, Frank. You all stay here, please. I’m enjoying hearing the noise.” To some people, that may have sounded like chaos. But, to her it was euphonious.
Speaking of meals, you cook and serve food at the church on Wednesdays for seniors from across the Nashville area along with doing the same each month at a local public housing development. What fuels your hands-on involvement?
Pastor Frank Stevenson:
When I go there on Wednesdays, it’s probably more therapeutic for me than it is for them. I may be seen as just an old preacher cooking food. But, to me, it’s about caring for folks who have seen and been through so much, especially those who are in their eighties and nineties. These are people who went through the ‘50s and ‘60s…the Civil Rights Movement. So, it’s truly therapeutic being able to embrace their amazing spirit of endurance. I lost my grandmother when I was 10. I didn’t know her very well, and only met her four times because we lived out of state.
Friendship Missionary Baptist Church appears to be truly on the move in terms of helping others. What are some of the things people can be on the lookout for in the year to come?
Pastor Frank Stevenson:
We’re doubling down on our commitment to the community and stacking up resources to provide programming to the youth. Also, we’re getting ready to move really aggressively towards more opportunities to minister to and provide for the seniors in our community. So, you’ll see a lot of those efforts coming from our church. We just want to be that congregation that really emulates love for our community and God. If we do that in a bigger way, Nashville will be better because of our commitment to our neighbors.
For more information, visit: friendshipcog.com.
